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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25467547">look my way</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/shuanime/pseuds/shuanime'>shuanime</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>SEVENTEEN (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>-Ish, Best Friends, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, but like you know it's gonna be like that, kind of, soonie gets into bad bad relationships, wonu dark horse dark knight</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 11:08:11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,389</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25467547</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/shuanime/pseuds/shuanime</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>soonyoung loves loving, but he always ends up in relationships that aren't for him.</p><p>and wonwoo's happiness lies in his.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jeon Wonwoo &amp; Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi, Jeon Wonwoo/Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>75</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>look my way</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this was comeesh by a good fwend : &gt; i hope u like this this is all for you (and of course for everyone we love to SHARE)</p><p>thank you so much for the comeesh! enjoy the soonwoo</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Come on,” Wonwoo helps him get up from his slumped position on the floor, trying to take the enormous bottle of alcohol he’s cradling in his arms. “Let’s get you to bed.”</p><p>“<em>Nooo</em>,” Soonyoung slurs, unable to think straight. Everything is spinning. Everything hurts.</p><p>He doesn’t want to let go, hugging the bottle tighter to his chest and nuzzling it with his cheek. The bottle is cold against his face, and it feels nice.</p><p>Also, he’s not drunk yet. He feels dizzy, yes, but his thoughts are still intact. Wonwoo seems to think differently, though.</p><p>Wonwoo sighs, squatting next to the inconsolable clump of <em>something</em> on the floor he calls his best friend. “Come on, now. You can’t sleep here.”</p><p>“It’s okay, <em>Nonu</em>. I’m not sleepy yet.” He smiles up brightly at him despite his brain being soaked in alcohol and his heart being crushed into a million pieces. Wonwoo feels something in his chest ache at the sight of him—miserable yet still forcing himself to act like it’s not that serious. Like he’ll just get over it, move on, find something else. He’s been by his side for so long, enough to know he never does. It’s always at the back of his brain, making him feel more and more vulnerable, and it’s hard for Wonwoo to watch him get hurt like this.</p><p>Soonyoung lifts himself to sit up, leaning against Wonwoo’s <em>depressing</em> <em>green</em> cupboard, and the world around him whirls and he feels his mouth turn sour and a hot mush concoction of booze and the Chinese take-out noodles he ate for dinner tries to make its way out of him. He stills for a moment, trying his <em>very</em> best to not throw up all over Wonwoo because there’s something he has to say and his vomit can wait.</p><p>“Are you going to throw up?”</p><p>He holds up a finger. “Don’t say that. I might.”</p><p>Wonwoo moves back a safe distance in case he really does.</p><p>“I have a question,” he says after a while, throwing his head back and shutting his eyes tight because <em>god, this kitchen light is so bright</em>.</p><p>Wonwoo thinks he already knows what the question will be.</p><p>“I don’t think you deserve to be cheated on by anyone. I never think that.”</p><p>“Not that,” he whines, scrunching his face and pouting <em>really</em> hard, probably to let Wonwoo know he’s annoyed that Wonwoo has answers for everything.</p><p>“Alright,” Wonwoo heaves another sigh as he flops sitting next to him, back against the cupboard. Like clockwork, Soonyoung’s head leans on his shoulder, and Wonwoo’s arm wraps around him, pulling him close. And it just fits so well. “What’s your question? And please don’t throw up on me.”</p><p>“I won’t,” Soonyoung says, snuggling closer to him, sniffing him a little because Wonwoo smells so much like home. “Is it something I did? Do they all cheat because of something I keep doing?”</p><p>Wonwoo falls silent, opting to rest his head on top of his instead.</p><p>He doesn’t know why it’s always something Soonyoung <em>didn’t</em> do because, to him, he’s good-natured to a fault. Perfect.</p><p>When Wonwoo doesn’t respond, he continues, “I drive people away. I’m too clingy, too insecure. But I’m also too pathetic that they would rather hide the cheating behind my back instead of telling me in my face that they don’t want me anymore.”</p><p>“I thought you’re drunk. How can you still think?”</p><p>“That was half a bottle of beer. I know I’m a lightweight, but if I’m not making out with everything in sight, I’m not <em>drunk</em> drunk. Just dizzy.”</p><p>“Then why would you give me a hard time trying to make you get up?”</p><p>“The floor is cold and nice, and I wanted to whine,” Soonyoung smiles, too cheekily for someone who just got his heart broken. “Plus, you love it when you get to act like my dark horse dark knight.”</p><p>“I’m pretty sure it’s called a <em>knight in shining armor</em>, but fair point,” Wonwoo says, pinching one of his soft cheeks. “But you need to stop this self-deprecation thing that’s going on here. You know you’re nothing like that. It’s never something you did, okay? They cheated because they’re a bunch of assholes. Jeonghan, Seokmin, Jihoon, and now, Seungcheol? A bunch of assholes.”</p><p>Soonyoung nods, feeling a bit lighter at the shit-talking they’re doing. “Right. Not Seokmin though, you got that wrong. He fell in love with Minghao, and seriously, it’s nice of him to tell me before doing anything.”</p><p>“That counts as cheating in my book,” Wonwoo scoffs.</p><p>Soonyoung sighs almost as if he’s giving up as he buries his face on Wonwoo’s chest. “Well, whatever that was, I just wish they only saw <em>me</em>. You know?”</p><p>
  <em>You’re all I see.</em>
</p><p>“I know.”</p><p>Maybe it’s uncomplicated, and he’s making it complicated. Wonwoo could just confess his feelings and say, <em>Hey! I’m the gay guy who would soothe your little gay heart. I will never hurt you</em>, and one could easily call him a <em>namby-pamby</em> for not having the courage to do just that. But it’s never that simple. He’s his best friend. And he’s fine with being just that.</p><p>He watched Soonyoung go through relationships that were hell for him more than the other person, and Wonwoo had to sit there all the time, consoling him and reassuring him that his ex-boyfriends cheating on him has nothing to do with him and everything to do with them. That he shouldn’t have to blame himself for it. And Soonyoung listens to him. That’s why he jumps into another relationship where he’s just so sure he’s going to be happily in love but it just turns into another case of a drunken, broken heart.</p><p>Curse <em>Changkyun</em>, that bastard. He was the start of it all. The one who first hurt him.</p><p>When they were 10 years old. Soonyoung confessed to him with a love letter, and Changkyun accepted, and Soonyoung rejoiced, and blah, blah, blah. The next day, Changkyun told him they’re not together anymore, and Wonwoo had to accompany his best friend to Changkyun’s house and wipe his snotty face when Changkyun’s mom said he was not home, he was sleeping over at Jinsol’s.</p><p>10-year-old Soonyoung was devastated and vowed to never date ever again, but then middle school happened, and high school happened, and Wonwoo swears at least every 6 months, he has to cradle a crying Soonyoung in his arms.</p><p>In his freshman year in college, Soonyoung met the junior Yoon Jeonghan. The man was still in love with his ex, and Wonwoo knew he'd make Soonyoung cry. Lee Jihoon happened in Soonyoung’s sophomore year, and Wonwoo knew he was married to his dreams, and he was right. Lee Seokmin happened, and Wonwoo thought he was the one, but apparently, he wasn’t. And just earlier, Choi Seungcheol made his best friend cry, and Wonwoo knew it would happen, and it did.</p><p>And before anyone could judge him, he warned Soonyoung along the way. He told him. He let him know. Advice, guidance—you name it, Wonwoo has given it. The truth, too. Whatever Soonyoung needs, whenever he needs it. But his best friend still went for it.</p><p>Soonyoung didn’t know why it kept happening to him, but Wonwoo knew they probably weren’t serious—not as serious as him, at least—with the relationship.</p><p>It’s just that Soonyoung loves <em>so</em> <em>much, like</em> the end goal is always to <em>marry</em>.</p><p>He loves like tomorrow is the end of the world.</p><p>Soonyoung didn’t know why it kept happening to him, but he continued loving, anyway, for nothing in return. And while most people would call it <em>hopeless</em> <em>romantic</em> or just plain <em>stupid</em>, Wonwoo thinks he’s strong.</p><p>He just loves to love, is all.</p><p>He feels the fabric of his shirt dampening, and when he looks down, Soonyoung is sobbing again.</p><p>“I’m sorry if I’m c-crying again,” he sniffles, clinging to him and burying his face further. He has this habit of hiding his face when he cries—something about not wanting Wonwoo to see how ugly his crying face gets. “I just hate Seungcheol’s stupid head for preferring long, female legs over my cute legs. I look so sexy in leather pants. It’s his loss.”</p><p>“It’s getting repetitive at this point, but stop dating guys who don’t see your worth,” Wonwoo mumbles in his hair, hugging him tighter to his side. He also has a habit of rambling when he’s trying to pretend it doesn’t hurt so bad. “I think your legs are perfect, by the way.”</p><p>When Soonyoung lifts his head to look at him, Wonwoo tilts his own in confusion. His cheeks are streaked with tears, and there’s liquid around his red nose that Wonwoo recognizes so much.</p><p>It’s snot.</p><p>“What?” Wonwoo asks, but can’t help pointing out, “You have snot on your face.”</p><p>Uncaring about his nose liquids dripping on his face, Soonyoung stares at him. Hard.</p><p>He’s immune to his best friend’s sudden antics, but this puzzles him a bit.</p><p>“Was there ever a time in your life when you thought I’m cute?”</p><p>“I think that all the time—”</p><p>“No, like,” Soonyoung looks at his legs, tangled on the floor next to Wonwoo’s legs, and then back at him, face still unreadable and eyes serious. “<em>Dateable</em>.”</p><p>The question makes him pause for a bit, but Wonwoo figures there’s nothing to hide, and it’s not like he was trying to hide it for the past—his entire life, anyway.</p><p>“I think that all the time, too.”</p><p>“<em>Seriously?</em>”</p><p>“Look,” Wonwoo lets out a sigh for the nth time this hour. “I don’t want to take advantage of you being vulnerable. You just got out of a relationship, and you’re hurt—”</p><p>“And you didn’t tell me?” Soonyoung gasps, a hand on his chest as if he’s so offended that Wonwoo didn’t tell him. “Were you <em>in love</em> with me?’</p><p>He doesn’t expect Wonwoo would say yes.</p><p>But Wonwoo says, “Yes.”</p><p>“Until now?”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“Why didn’t you tell me?”</p><p>Wonwoo shrugs. His head is blank and the only thing he knows to do now is to just tell the truth. There’s just no use lying. Soonyoung doesn’t deserve any more of that. “You’re quick to fall in love with people, and I was okay with just being your best friend. I’m really fine with it, like, honest to god, I can just support you with whatever you want forever. Plus, you never really asked.”</p><p>Soonyoung scratches his head, eyebrows meeting each other in confusion. “Did it hurt?”</p><p>“It?”</p><p>“Loving me? When I kept loving other people?”</p><p>“No,” Wonwoo assures him. And it’s the truth. “Never. I don’t expect you to love me back, so don’t get all pressured now, alright?”</p><p>“Okay, but, how about you?”</p><p>Wonwoo offers him a smile so genuine, and he feels his heart melt. “I’m happy when you are.”</p><p>He can’t tell what’s going on in Soonyoung’s mind as he falls silent. He has his eyebrow raised and a bit of an airhead expression on his face like he’s trying to figure out by himself what just happened.</p><p>For a moment, a comfortably <em>uncomfortable</em> silent moment, they stayed like that on the floor. Wonwoo doesn’t feel like he just confessed. He feels like he let his feelings out, and it feels okay-<em>ish</em> because Soonyoung hasn’t run away from him which is a good sign that there’s no friendship breaking between them. He can talk about it properly right now, but he figures they have to go to bed. Soonyoung is thinking beside him, loudly enough that he could hear his best friend’s thoughts just wreaking havoc in his pretty little head.</p><p>He also notices Soonyoung stifling a yawn. Yup. Time for bed.</p><p>“Let’s just go to bed for now. We’ll talk tomorrow, so please don’t feel burdened.”</p><p>“I’m not burdened,” Soonyoung replies, wrapping his arms around Wonwoo’s waist as Wonwoo’s hand rubs circles on his shoulder. Soonyoung has his face smushed on his chest again, his favorite spot in the world. His home. “I just think you’re awesome.”</p><p>“Huh? What for?”</p><p>He waits for a response, but Soonyoung is already off to dreamland, breathing heavily and evenly in his arms.</p><p>Wonwoo lets it go, kissing the top of his head before carrying him to his room. He’s not sure if Soonyoung will remember what they talked about tonight, but he’s pretty certain that after all the crying and the thinking and the drinking that happened, he’ll have to deal with him whining about a headache tomorrow.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Soonyoung wakes up with a buzzing in his ears. His head feels heavy like a rock that if he gets up abruptly, he’ll probably topple over. Blinking his eyes as the world comes into focus, his gaze settles on the glass of water on the bedside table, some pills next to it. Next to him, stroking his hair is none other than Jeon Wonwoo.</p><p>He remembers last night so vividly. He remembers all the time Wonwoo does this for him. He remembers trying to find love but always ending up in Wonwoo’s kitchen. With Wonwoo.</p><p>He can’t believe he hasn’t noticed before.</p><p>He gets it now.</p><p>He has dated every single person possible. Every man he can love, he has loved. He never learned how to stop because Wonwoo was always there to pick him up when he’s left alone. Wonwoo was there when Jeonghan broke it off with him because his ex’s plane landed, saying he can’t lose the love of his life. Wonwoo was there when Jihoon, without much thinking, left him for a prestigious music school in Austria. Wonwoo was there when Seokmin came clean and asked for his permission to love someone else. Wonwoo was there yesterday when he came crying because he caught Seungcheol in bed with a woman.</p><p>Heck, Wonwoo was there when Changkyun broke his heart. That <em>bastard</em>.</p><p> </p><p>Wonwoo was always there.</p><p>And he always knew, but he gets it now.</p><p> </p><p>“Good morning,” Wonwoo greets with a mellow smile on his face, reaching over for the water and pills he prepared or him. “Your head hurts, right? Take these, so you don’t feel bad for the rest of the day.”</p><p>One look in Wonwoo’s eyes, and he’s home.</p><p>Perhaps he should stop looking for something that’s beside him all along.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>okay okay that was so much dialogue and u know me ... i Suck at it so bad. i hope you liked what u read hehehe</p><p>also just a heads up! after one more fic, i'm gonna start writing an update for fleeting bliss! i do miss that fic of mine and i did say i wasnt gonna abandon it hehe so if you like that one, look forward to that! :&gt;</p><p>anyway if you wanna yell at me about anything here's my <a href="https://curiouscat.me/shuquishy">curious cat</a></p><p>also im trying to save up and quarantine isn't making that too easy for me soooo my <a href="https://ao3-shuanime.carrd.co/">fanfic comeesh</a> are open if you’re interested! comeesh me hehe</p><p>you can also buy me a cup of [<a href="https://ao3-shuanime.carrd.co/#ko-fi">coffee</a>] as support (only if it’s coming from the goodness of your heart hehe please don’t feel pressured!) </p><p>please leave a kudos and a comment i rlly love reading your thoughts and feelings :) &lt;3 and stay safe! mwa</p></blockquote></div></div>
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